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marilyn: A tale of modernity

12/29/2014

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This week I gave my daughter a box set of Marilyn Monroe's movies for her birthday.   She has been very interested in the 1950s/60s movie star and her life ever since she watched "My Week with Marilyn" (starring Michelle Williams) based on a memoir written by a man who served as a set assistant during the filming of "The Prince and the Showgirl." She even chose the book version of this story for an English school project on the development of identity.  The memoir, and film, examine the mess Marilyn was during the filming of a rather contrived comedy with the unlikely pairing of Monroe with Laurence Olivier.  As one character says in the film to Marilyn, "Laurence is a great actor who wants to be a film star, you are a film star who yearns to be a great actress and this film isn't going to give either of you what you want."  Since we've been watching Marilyn's films, and talking about my daughter's book project, I've been thinking a lot about this famous woman and how she relates to our own times.  It strikes me that she was really the unintentional pioneer of modern celebrity and all the good, bad and ugly that comes with that condition.  Her life, her death, and her legend have much to tell us about ourselves and navigating the public record of our own lives, and the creation of our self-identities.

Seeing Marilyn in various films one cannot help but to recognize that she had star quality.  This was perhaps one of her problems.  It is almost impossible to see a character that Monroe was communicating, rather one actually just sees the caricature she created of her own self-image.  With her trademark blonde hairdo, vivid make-up with fire-engine red lips, and tight clothes fitted to accentuate her curves you see "sex" personified, not a person.  Added to the visual image, Monroe also played up the dumb blonde act with a baby-girl voice and vacant look that she could call up on cue.  Despite her lack of variety in terms of acting, she managed nevertheless to often steal the show on screen. Watch "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes" and you cannot help but think, "well, yes, who wouldn't prefer Marilyn to Jane Russell?"  Watch "How to Marry A Millionaire" and you'll discover that Marilyn's comic performance, as a young woman who forgoes the thick eyeglasses she needs in the interest of vanity, is the one bright spot in an otherwise dreadful film.  In "Some Like It Hot" you cannot help but root for 'Sugar Kane' (who nips from a whiskey flask whenever life gets to be too much) to end up happily-ever-after: the character's sad state and reliance on the numbing effects of alcohol too closely mirror Marilyn's own life for you not to feel for her.  She comes on screen and whether you want to like her or not she wins you over with her softness.  She's one of those people you may want to hate (out of jealousy because of her beauty) and yet can't because she's just too vulnerable, and ultimately, likable.

Marilyn's personal life reads as a tragedy in which there are almost no bright spots.  She grew up in foster homes because her mother was mentally ill and unable to care for her.  She never knew her father.  She happened to be 'discovered' while working in a munitions factory when a journalist came to photograph women aiding the war effort. Afterwards, she became a successful model who tried to transition into acting.  She lit up the screen but never seemed satisfied with her craft, and indeed, she seemed to struggle with professional aspects of acting such as memorizing lines and getting on the set on time. She married three times--twice to famous men who seemed to take more than they could give (Joe DiMaggio and Arthur Miller).  She dated, or had affairs, with famous men who were flagrant users (Frank Sinatra, John F. Kennedy and Robert Kennedy).  And, she was continuously hounded by the paparazzi in the most obnoxious of ways.  They accosted her when she battled mental illness in hospital stays, when she had a whole host of physical ailments, and when she was in mourning for the loss of friends and colleagues such as Clark Gable.  Her life was lived on screen and in movie magazines and it was nearly impossible for her to be a real person because everyone was so enthralled with the image she'd created.

Throughout her adult life, Marilyn used alcohol and sleeping pills as coping mechanisms, and of course, this was a dangerous combination that would eventually be her undoing.  One has to think that if she were alive today, she'd have been prescribed much more appropriate anti-depressants and would have had support groups and people that could help her build a healthy sense of self-worth.  Watching the films of her day, it is almost shocking to see how readily people used alcohol, cigarettes and pills on screen as ways of managing day-to-day living.  In other words, it appears that such abuse was ordinary and perhaps this is why she continued to have access to pharmaceuticals that were deadly.  She had close calls with pill overuse several times throughout her career and so it was perhaps not surprising when she finally took so much narcotic that she overdosed.  From the various accounts I have read, it is not even clear that she wanted to commit suicide.  Rather, she may have simply taken too many sleeping pills because her brain was muddied enough that she couldn't recall what she'd taken and just wanted to get herself unconscious. Various conspiracy theories have been floating about since her death, but it strikes me that this is just fantastical (perhaps even wishful) thinking.  Marilyn was a mess and her life's end, in retrospect, seems inevitable given how she was hunted by her own demons and held captive by the voracious grip of both those who managed her and her adoring (or leering) public.  

Thinking about Marilyn's life I cannot help but make comparisons to our modern obsession with celebrity. Far too many people live their lives, and all its messiness, in public--either by accident or by design.  With the explosion of reality television we even have "celebrities" who are famous not because they have any talent, but simply because they are willing (even eager) to display themselves, warts and all, for everyone to see.  This obsession with fame and celebrity has, rather sadly, influenced our young people in dangerous ways.  More and more surveys show that today's youth seek celebrity and material wealth instead of wanting to contribute something more deep and meaningful to their world.  See article below about reasons for wanting fame, it's quite telling:  
http://blogs.scientificamerican.com/beautiful-minds/2013/09/04/why-do-you-want-to-be-famous/  

Additionally, even grown adults are far too ready to live their lives in public, without much thought as to what is appropriate and what isn't.  I'm often disturbed by how often I see what should be private conversations taking place on Facebook, by how often people post pictures of drunkenness, drug use, and sexuality for all to see. Thus, thinking about the tragedy of Marilyn's life, a life she could not help but live in the public eye, makes me wonder about what her example should be telling us in 2015 with so much social media at our disposal.  The beginning of a new year is a perfect time to examine our own demons and how we handle them.
 
Things to consider:
  • How much are you putting out there and why?  If you've surrendered your private life and private self, why have you done so?  What benefit is there?
  • Exhibitionism is often a mask for deeper unhappiness and insecurities.  Is this the case? How can you move your self-examination inward instead of displaying it outwardly?
  • Are you addicted to the problems of others?  Are you a gossip fiend?  Do you constantly reading voyeuristic stories about celebrities to make yourself feel better?
  • Are you distracting yourself from dealing with your own issues and demons out of fear or laziness, or a combination of both?  
  • Do you want to spend another year making bad choices?
The above questions are all pretty probing, maybe even negative.  But that's the point.  Until we face up to our faults and missteps, we're unlikely to move in the right direction.  For me, two of the most useful exercises have been:
  1. To make a physical list of how I want my life to look.  What kind of household and family life do I want, what kind of professional life, what kind of personal life. Be specific with your list.  Take your time writing this--it can become your blueprint for the new year.
  2. To make a document--a life "to do" list--that you can all up easily and often.  It's amazing, but since making such a list (anything from the most trivial to the most important tasks can be on this), I've actually achieved several of my goals (and thus been able to cross them off the list).  This can be anything from "get online bill pay" to "make a will" or "earn a master's degree."
Finally, I don't normally do this (and I promise it won't become a habit) but I am going to promote my products.  I have two courses that can help you to achieve a greater sense of self and to get on the road to wholeness.  One is called "Healing Traditions" where I examine five world healing modalities (Ayurveda, Traditional Chinese Medicine, Japanese Macrobiotics, Native American Traditions and Celtic/Pagan Traditions) and offer very simple and easy ways to integrate the best practices of each into our lives.  The course is 10-weeks long and can be started at any time on your schedule.  I also have a January mini-course that offers some ideas on starting the year off right and organizing yourself for success.  Both courses can be found/purchased on this site. http://www.yourartofliving.com/our-courses.html
Please think about checking them out and using them as tools for guidance.  Marilyn's dharma was to entertain and enthrall.  Unfortunately, her time and circumstances didn't allow her to fulfill it in a healthy way.  My dharma is to help others to live their most artful and healthful lives by using the education I've spent 30 years acquiring and sharing it in a way that is relevant and fresh. 

So here's to a healthy and artful 2015--with thanks to Norma Jean--for providing inspiration.  Yes Marilyn, you are still relevant (perhaps today more than ever).  

--Lisabeth


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winter solstice: making the turn

12/19/2014

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As we make the big turn to our furthest point from the sun, it's a good time to pause and think about the past year and the one fast approaching.  Though the holiday season is known for its festivity, it is a time that should command our contemplation and reflection as well. Last year was a momentous one for me personally.  I got remarried in May,  and traveled to Italy on my honeymoon.  I was awarded a five-year distinguished teaching chair at my school, a lovely and unexpected honor.  I launched my website, "Your Art of Living," and my daughter officially entered her teen years.  Lots of goals were met and new eras opened upon which to embark.  Now I'm feeling the desire, the need, to think about what I want out of 2015 (to the extent that I can have any say about it).  

I accomplished quite a lot, but also at a cost.  I practically never played my flute this past year and should have spent more time in meditation.  I'm feeling more run down at the end of the year than would be ideal, despite attempts at good self-care.  I'd like to read more for pleasure and get together more often with friends.    But these are goals that are just all about me, me, me.  What do I want for the world? These are often things we overlook in our quest to address ourselves, our problems or imperfections.  We get wrapped up in our own narrative.  So I want to expand my lens and look at the horizon "out there" as well. 

In 2015, for myself:
  • More meditation to foster greater patience and calm
  • More reading
  • More music time
  • Getting caught up with my ayurvedic studies
All of these goals require some planning and intention. 
When will they be accomplished, how?  I have found that the only way I can manage to attend to that which is important to me is to roughly schedule time for it.  It may sound a bit obsessive, but blocking out my days helps me to see what is possible.  I also like using a commitment as a goal motivator (so by promising to play with my school's symphonic winds this spring I've made a commitment to practice).

In 2015, for the world:
  • Greater freedom and equality for women
  • Greater parity between the "haves and have-nots"
  • Less finger-pointing, more cooperation in government
  • Less "business-as-usual", more innovation in business, education and non-profit work.
  • Less brutality, more accountability

How will these be achieved?  Hopefully the work I do as an educator helps.  Our young people need not only to be aware but to be inspired and excited to solve problems and change the world.  This may sound naive, but how could I be in this job for so long if I didn't believe that we plant the seeds of progress and change?  I will also continue to work on diversity projects to harbor greater appreciation and acceptance of people of all backgrounds.  And, I'd like to perform more service which may entail leading a service trip.

Everyone of us can see ourselves as agents of positive change in our personal lives, households, places of work, worship and service.  By living as our best selves-- educated, aware, intentional we can help others evolve to a place of greater peace and enlightenment.  I'll end by including a poem from my favorite poet, Rumi (a 13th century Sufi scholar).  He contends that we need darkness (in various forms) so as to seek the light. 

Shadow and Light Source Both, by Rumi (Translation by Coleman Barks):

How does a part of the world leave the world?
How does wetness leave water?

Don't try to put out fire by throwing on
more fire! Don't wash a wound with blood.

No matter how fast you run, your shadow
keeps up. Sometimes it's in front!

Only full overhead sun diminishes your shadow.
But that shadow has been serving you.

What hurts you, blesses you. Darkness is
your candle. Your boundaries are your quest.

I could explain this, but it will break the
glass cover on your heart, and there's no
fixing that.

You must have shadow and light source both.
Listen, and lay your head under the tree of awe.

When from that tree feathers and wings sprout on you,
be quieter than a dove. Don't even open your mouth for even a coo.


Meanwhile, this weekend my family will usher in the solstice by lighting a ring of votives surrounded by pine boughs (on our back patio).  We'll prepare a roast duck with sunny orange slices and cranberry sauce.  We'll listen to lovely music and think about the past year while having some tea or cocoa.  And, we'll snuggle one another gratefully knowing that we inspire one another with our love and light.  Please feel free to comment on what has inspired you in 2014 and where you'd like to evolve in 2015.

Yours fully and artfully in the light,

Lisabeth
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when enough is enough

12/9/2014

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When is enough ENOUGH?  I've been pondering this question as it is the holiday season, a time when the big advertising machine, and the cultural conditioning of consumerism, has us scurrying about convinced that we must show our loved ones our affection through overspending and overindulging.  I've also been thinking about this question in relation to the state of the nation's morale, particularly regarding race relations.

Last week, I accompanied several students from our school to the People of Color Conference in Indianapolis for three days of presentations, workshops and intensive discussions about the state of our society.   Much of the conference was devoted to talking about the events in Missouri, and New York, and Florida, and Cleveland , and Detroit, and so on and so on.  It left me thinking "when is enough enough?"  When have we seen enough young black men die?  When are we ready to have healthy discussions about race, privilege, glass ceilings and borders (both seen and unseen) that will move us forward?  When will we be ready to admit that our current ways of entrenched thinking aren't working?

I was having an interesting discussion with students about privilege, college admissions and affirmative action that had me thinking about desire and power. White students fear affirmative action will take something away from them if spaces are "awarded" to diverse students, while students of color want access to the same privilege as whites who have had greater opportunities.  What it boils down to is that everyone wants a spot at the same small table and is fearfully guarding their spaces and their plates.  Let me be clear, I support affirmative action--but I'm also concerned that the real problem lies in the fact that hierarchies have been constructed that keep wealth and power in the hands of very few and that no one is really looking at expanding that base of influence.  Students want to get into a "good school" so that they can have access to "good companies" who use graduation lists as recruitment tools.  As more people apply to college and the costs increase astronomically, fewer and fewer people (especially those who are disadvantaged by race, ethnicity, gender or social class) are able to get in and the circle stays small, tight and closed.  And people want to be part of that circle because it means "success" and financial comfort.  

But I see a problem with this.  I see a problem with Gordon Gekko's "Greed is good" speech from the film Wall Street; I see a problem in the fact that so many young people love the recent film Wolf of Wall Street which delves into the excesses of the work world of finance.  I think it is problematic that we buy, buy, buy because we feel we must, or because we've trained ourselves to want, want, want.  Violence, fear, hoarding, coveting, overspending--on school, on border control, on prisons, on things that we don't really need, on symbols of status--it's all connected.   I realize too, that as I'm contemplating this, I do so from a position of privilege as a white person in a very affluent, white town, teaching at a very expensive school.  I'm not unaware of the irony, perhaps even hypocrisy, but that doesn't mean I can't strive for a more enlightened attitude and change.

So, here's what I'm thinking about:
  • Can you dial back the extravagance of the holiday season?  Fewer gifts, less food, less drink, less noise and stress.
  • More sleep, more healthy food, more time spent (quietly) with your closest friends and family members.
  • More time alone in meditation, journaling and contemplation
  • Think about donating some of that money you would have spent to worthy causes (I'm writing at check for my local EMS team).  How about local news or music stations?  Animal shelters (which will be inundated after Christmas when people dump unwanted "gift" pets there)?
  • More time thinking about what we say--especially in regards to race.  As a history teacher, it saddens me that race relations not only in the U.S., but internationally, seem to be getting more divisive as governments draw up regulations and lines in the sand.  

As author and activist Alice Walker said, "The most common way people give up power is by thinking they don't have any."  There is power in NOT spending your money to feed the consumerist machine, there is power in extending a helping hand, and their is power in seeing that we need not grab at the "brass ring" so readily.  We can see our fellow humans as HUMAN and focus more on making those human connections that, stacked over time, may result in a paradigm shift which allows for a bigger table, with more chairs and place settings, and with a family style meal where the food is shared graciously knowing that with all of our society's resources and strengths no one need go hungry.

Artfully yours--Lisabeth
(Remember--all that stuff eventually becomes what you see below!)
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o christmas tree

12/2/2014

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This past weekend, we completed one of our favorite family traditions, one that so many families do, choosing and trimming our Christmas tree.  We always purchase ours, from the local Boy Scout Troop, the weekend after Thanksgiving and we take it down the day after Christmas.  That's right, no lingering.  We always travel to Canada to visit with my husband's family & friends after Christmas and I don't want to leave a drying-out tree behind.  There is something very satisfying about our self-proclaimed time limit, especially considering that now stores put Christmas merchandise and decor out before Halloween.  

The Christmas tree heralds back to much earlier times, when pagan worshipers of ancient and early medieval Europe viewed trees, and most elements in nature, as spiritually-infused.  The early Christian church, in its attempt to win over tribal overlords and their followers, incorporated and reinterpreted pagan rituals so as to make their religion more appealing to these powerful warriors.  The tradition become more entrenched in reformation Germany and then was popularized by Prince Albert in nineteenth-century England.  For those interested in a more in-depth history see the link below:
http://www.historytoday.com/jar-pimlott/merry-christmas

The Christmas tree figures largely in American culture, with everything from the Charlie Brown tree, with a few drooping ornaments and dropping needles, to the spectacular lighted tree of Rockefeller Square in NYC having iconic stature.  I've been thinking about my own history with Christmas trees and what it reflects about me personally and the times I've lived through.  When I was five I remember we had one of those shiny silver aluminum trees--very indicative of the modern times. My mother made ornaments for the tree out of styrofoam that she cut into shapes with an exact-o knife and then decorated.  I remember the styrofoam made her hands break out.  We had a color wheel that would turn and throw different lights against the silver of the branches.  I believed a few years later we sold the tree at a garage sale--by that time it seemed hopelessly gauche and tacky.  Of course, such trees have made a comeback and I kind of wish I had that tree now.

When we moved to a different town, and a colonial suburban home, we went for the real tree.  I remember that I always insisted we get a blue spruce because I loved the color.  It was horrible to try to decorate.  It's needles were razor sharp and it shed incessantly.  We strung popcorn and cranberries and again my mother crafted her own ornaments (this time using a kit to create old-fashioned wood ornaments).  Those I still have and we use them on our tree now.  I remember the move from large, colored outdoor bulbs to the more "tasteful" white twinkle lights.  I also remember a local store , in the 1980s, which specialized in Christmas trees (high-end artificial ones) and that would decorate them according to themes.  You could have easily dropped several hundred dollars on these designer holiday trees.  

As I moved through apartments, I had smaller and more modest trees--nothing special stands out.  But a few years ago, when I moved into my current home, I decided my daughter would have a real tree. Thankfully, the trees of today are grown for fullness, with lots of branches to hold ornaments, needles that hold water and don't dry out immediately. and straight and lovely trunks.  No more scrounging for tree that looks somewhat balanced.  They're all pretty good.  And though I think theme trees can be cute, that's not what we've done.  Most of our ornaments have been collected from our travels or have some personal reference or meaning.  We have ornaments from Bermuda, an Eiffel Tower, Beatles ornaments, a ceramic owl from Plymouth Plantation, an ornament from Falling Water, ones with flutes and lutes (yes, we play these) and we'll need a saxophone (my daughter plays this).  We have Nutcrackers and ballerinas, kittens galore, ornaments made in preschool, and this year--in honor of Frozen Mania--an Olaf stuffed toy at the top of the tree.  It is all very personalized and eclectic.  And lights, oh so much better now.  We have large colored bulbs but they are LED so they don't get hot and they don't impact the electric bill.  

So I'm thinking about what the Christmas tree says about me and about our culture:
  • We still relish bringing  the natural world into our homes.  There is nothing like the smell of fresh pine and the allure of have a wild element in the house.
  • We carry visual memories of childhood, hopefully mostly good (but we know that holidays can also bring out the worst in families)
  • The act of procuring and decorating is most fun done as a group.  Let go of perfection.  So what if the tree is a little crooked or the ornaments not perfectly placed?
  • There's value to letting go--don't be THAT family who leaves the tree up until St. Patrick's Day.  We really don't need to carry things to extremes.  Holidays are more special if they are time-limited.
  • Worry less about what you're putting under the tree.  Why not one simple and meaningful gift for each person?  
And for those who want to see their Celtic tree sign, see the site below:
http://edenstreehouse.webs.com/celtictreeastrology.htm

Enjoy your traditions, enjoy one another--

Artfully yours, Lisabeth
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    Lisabeth Robinson

    I have been an educator for 20 years.  I create, I play, I guide and I grow.  I want to share that with you too!

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