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Tolerance

11/23/2016

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"You wanna hurt me? Go right ahead if it makes you feel any better. I'm an easy target." -- Del, "Planes, Trains and Automobiles" (1987)

This is one of my favorite holiday movies--I'm sure it makes many peoples' lists.  I'm thinking particularly about it this year since so much of the film is about learning to accept someone who is not like you.  The first time I saw the movie, I'm certain I identified much more with Neil (Steve Martin's character) than Del (John Candy).  However, as I've aged, and matured, I think the tables are turned.  Sure, people can still irritate the you-know-what out of me, but I'm much more sympathetic to Del's dilemma of finding a place where he fits in.  Neil's annoyance, cruelty and blatant distaste seem more obnoxious each time I watch the film.  This parallels the shift in my thinking, and the emphasis in my work over the past several years, regarding diversity and inclusion.  

Seeing others as being just as valuable and worthy as yourself (and those like you) is not an easy mindset shift because generally we are raised in insular environments.  Our experience of difference often comes only in the form of entertainment, sports viewing, or news reporting.  As such, we get a skewed vision of what others are like since we only see them as performers, athletes or criminals.  

Most of us were also raised to believe in the Myth of Meritocracy.  It goes something like this: If you work hard, you will succeed.  You will get what you deserve so long as you put in the effort.  People, especially those with privilege, love the Myth because it places prosperity firmly in their realm of control.  Here's the problem: It isn't true.  For anyone who has ever spent any time in poor environments, the old "bootstrap" myth is a pile of bull.  Everyone has some story of a distant acquaintance who managed to scratch their way out of poverty, or homelessness, or an abusive environment.  But can intelligent people really fool themselves into thinking this is the norm?  Well, yes--I see it all the time.

Neil, the advertising executive who is stuck with Del, the shower ring salesman, definitely buys into his Myth of Meritocracy.  If only everyone (including Del) were as well-dressed, as proper, as fastidious and as upper-middle class as he, the world would be a better place.  Thus, he reviles Del's loud banter, his beefiness, his tacky clothes, his smelly feet and his inexplicable cheery disposition.  Neil's an uptight a-hole.  And you know what, so many of us are too.  We stereotype, assume, pontificate, and--in some cases--allow our vitriol to head into the territory of slurs (racial, ethnic, sexual, socio-economic, you name it).  

Let's make a pact.  For Thanksgiving, and the Holiday Season, let's all try to be more like Del.  Cheerful, optimistic, loving and accepting.  We'll all feel better for it, and so will those with whom we come into contact.  A few suggestions:
  • Take a media fast (too much emphasis on separation and conflict)
  • Buy less, donate more
  • Spend time with elders, even if their attitudes or habits sometimes annoy you
  • Smile at every cashier and server, treat them with respect and politeness
  • Write someone you love a letter of appreciation. Tell them what you love about them.  It will be a greater gift than anything you buy.
As Del says in the second part of the above quote, "I could be a cold-hearted cynic like you... but I don't like to hurt people's feelings. Well, you think what you want about me; I'm not changing. I like... I like me. My wife likes me. My customers like me. 'Cause I'm the real article. What you see is what you get."

Let's spend the holidays being tolerant and being the "real deal"--

Artfully and gratefully yours,

Lisabeth

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Four days in November

11/2/2016

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Arcimboldo's "Fall" a sixteenth century painting--and such clever collage!
That granddaddy of all feasting holidays approaches us soon--yes,Thanksgiving is almost upon us and our guts will be busting.  My challenge to you (and to myself) before the day of gorging arrives is to do a four-day cleanse.  I know that I'm desperately feeling the need to "clean house."  Even though my eating and habits have been good, they can always be a little better. More importantly, a four-day intentional cleanse allows the body a break and starts the holiday season off right.  Seasonally, we are transitioning to winter and this is a perfect time to prepare the body (and mind) with a focused program that feels gentle and restorative, and yes, cleansing.  Here's the plan:
  1. Breakfast: Oatmeal, or Warmed up Pumpkin (with coconut oil and maple syrup) or A Spice-filled Smoothie (Almond milk, cinnamon and nutmeg, 2 dates, and a banana). Chai tea​ for a bit of caffeine, and more healthy spice.
  2. ​Lunch=Quinoa Pilaf, Steamed Greens, Warmed Pumpkin or Roasted Squash)
  3. Dinner=Soup (Chicken Vegetable  is a nice choice), oatmeal with maple syrup.
  • You sip hot water throughout the day, and drink 60 oz. of room temperature water as well.   
  • Avoid nuts, dairy, and gluten.
  • Foods are whole and simple.
  • Keep yourself to three meals, if you get hungry, warm up a cup of almond milk with turmeric  and maple syrup.
  • Meditation is welcome.
  • Hot baths with Epsom Salts are rejuvenating.
  • Showers with massage oil applied while skin is wet are restorative.
  • Light exercise: Yoga and walking.
  • Quiet, introspective time resets your body clock and calm.
  • On the last evening drink a glass of prune juice to help "empty out."
We have much to be thankful for this holiday season, including the ability to exercise some restraint.  Give yourself that gift and your body will thank you!

Gratefully,
Lisabeth



1 Comment

    Lisabeth Robinson

    I have been an educator for 20 years.  I create, I play, I guide and I grow.  I want to share that with you too!

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