Emmie and her child, Mary Cassatt, 1889
By far the greatest gift I have ever received is my daughter--fourteen years ago. She changed my life in ways that I could never have predicted. I did not think I would ever have a child and yet, as though conjured solely by my will, she came. I remember the day her old soul entered my body. I was hoping for such a one as she, and she chose me, and transformed me. No longer could I be foolish, short-sighted, self-destructive, not with her to care for and guide. Before I had my daughter, I had let myself get unhealthy. Poor food choices, too much wine, too little exercise and sleep had left me heavy and yet oddly depleted. After I had my daughter, I decided that I faced a choice: be the "old, fat mommy" or get in shape. I carefully considered both because there is nothing wrong with being an older mother, and nothing wrong with being heavy. No one should be treated as somehow morally deficit for their body. However, I do believe that you need to own it and be alright with it. So, if I could have been the older, heavier, happy mommy, that would have been just fine. But I knew myself well enough to know that I wouldn't be that person. I'd be constantly comparing myself, mentally browbeating myself and wondering how I was going to keep up and enjoy her childhood. Instead, I chose to get in shape and transform myself. I lost 60 pounds and found my inner athlete. But this was just a cosmetic outer change. The real transformation came from within. I stopped just thinking about myself and put her first. I asked more of myself in terms of my own behavior. I became kinder and more compassionate. I reaffirmed my commitment to social justice and equity. Too many people in this world suffer at the hands of the greed of others. I became more daring in what I was willing to learn, to try, to say. I unleashed my creativity.
I still have a popsicle stick on which she wrote, "To my mother, who has made my bloom." To that I say, "right back at you honey, and thank you." Total reciprocity. I couldn't be more proud of the intelligent, hard-working, kind, funny, caring, talented and beautiful young woman she has become. And, I am proud of what I've become too from guiding her. She has been the greatest gift I've ever received. For those who are parents, I want you to contemplate your relationship with your children. Is it what you want it to be--why or why not? Do an honest self-evaluation. For those who aren't parents, nurturing is not restricted to those who give birth! In fact, the painting above, done by Mary Cassatt, reflects an artist who never married or had children. She considered herself a "new woman" who could flourish in her talent and accomplishment--and she did. She focused her lens on the relationships of mothers and children but never felt the need to experience that for herself. Her work has inspired and comforted admirers for over a hundred years. Your talents as a force of life need not be wasted. A friend, a relative, a pet, a cause--all can benefit from your loving kindness. Think about where you might turn your attention and then think about how that nurturing will be mirrored in yourself. This is the greatest gift you can give, and the greatest you will ever receive.
Gratefully--Lisabeth
I still have a popsicle stick on which she wrote, "To my mother, who has made my bloom." To that I say, "right back at you honey, and thank you." Total reciprocity. I couldn't be more proud of the intelligent, hard-working, kind, funny, caring, talented and beautiful young woman she has become. And, I am proud of what I've become too from guiding her. She has been the greatest gift I've ever received. For those who are parents, I want you to contemplate your relationship with your children. Is it what you want it to be--why or why not? Do an honest self-evaluation. For those who aren't parents, nurturing is not restricted to those who give birth! In fact, the painting above, done by Mary Cassatt, reflects an artist who never married or had children. She considered herself a "new woman" who could flourish in her talent and accomplishment--and she did. She focused her lens on the relationships of mothers and children but never felt the need to experience that for herself. Her work has inspired and comforted admirers for over a hundred years. Your talents as a force of life need not be wasted. A friend, a relative, a pet, a cause--all can benefit from your loving kindness. Think about where you might turn your attention and then think about how that nurturing will be mirrored in yourself. This is the greatest gift you can give, and the greatest you will ever receive.
Gratefully--Lisabeth
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